I’m lying on the floor.
I haven’t changed my clothes.
I’m going out of my mind.
It’s 4:15 IN THE MORNING. I have tried to sleep for the past 6 hours to no avail. It’s been like this for 2 weeks straight. Staring at the ceiling and tossing & turning have now been part of my nightly routine. What’s crazy is that I feel like being productive in the middle of the night rather than in the morning or in the afternoon. So sometimes I just get up and organize a few things or read a book again or get something to eat. It’s really a battle between my subconscious and myself. I have random outbursts in my mind, yelling, “WHY WON’T YOU LET ME SLEEP!? FOR. THE LOVE. OF GOD!….” to which no answer comes to my aid. I would want an answer. Preferably not anywhere near a talking voice in my head other than my own. That would mean that one of my top 3 phobia’s would literally come to life: Going completely bonkers. I do not even want to think about it.
Another crazy thing is that I never seem to be in a deep sleep. I startle and wake up quite easily. Just the faintest sound makes my ears alert and tingle (at least that’s what I think it does). I reckon I don’t go beyond Stage 3 a.k.a. Stage 4: “Delta Sleep”/”Deep Sleep”.
I did realize than whenever I exercise, I fall asleep with ease. I really should retrain my body to be more active. Ever since that beach weekend at the end of last May, I came back to my usual lifestyle – more eating, less exercising. I do love food though but I thank the heavens for my high metabolism. It runs in both sides of the fambam. Thanks mum & dad! My resolution was to eat healthier and I have been, in all honesty. Besides, organic tastes better! And I’m a sucker for fruits and veggies. I was not the 90% of the children population that hated vegetables. My folks didn’t even have to force feed me or deceptively incorporate the greens in my food. One of the few things I’m proud of? How sad!! HAHA.
Wow, it’s totally like the movies right now. Rain cues in as an insomniac blogger writes her woes on her non-existent slumber. Will there be a random pop-up of an anti-sleep song next? Insomnia by The Veronicas?
I just really hope I stay awake for the duration of our family lunch later in the day. A REUNION no less! I might unconsciously break all the table etiquette and social graces a mature young woman of 22 would be expected of. It’s a good thing I have my back-up! My never changing passable teenage physical attributes. With height to boot. I feel like a wink is in order but that would be awkward for a renowned recluse like me.
I’m extremely sleepy but I just cannot fall asleep. My conscious state of mind and my subconscious should really try to co-exist any minute now because I have 7 hours to go till lunch. Minus the hours I’m waking up, eating breakfast, preparing myself and going to the restaurant.
To entertain myself in this rather dead activity in the social networking sites I’m part of…I researched images of people/animals passing out on their food. Let’s cross all our limbs and insides that my fate in the next 24 hours won’t mirror theirs. Midnight Society hi-fives all around! YEAH! (I do get an appraisal to my reference on the 90’s classic, “Are You Afraid of the Dark”, right?)
Here come the cute photosss! If you don’t like them, you’re dead inside.
Alright, well, I really have to hit the sack. Maybe literally if I can’t keep a shut-eye. Our family cat is making me jealous right now. He’s sleeping like a little prince on the couch behind me. And I can most definitely hear his steady breathing. Here’s how nice & snugly he is:
Before I go, I just have to ask anyone who might come across this post to give me some tips and tricks to fall asleep. A stress on the words: legal and organic. I would be extremely grateful. You have no idea. Please and thank you!!